Everyone Else

GRANDFATHER /ABRAHAM

Husband of  – Father of Adam, Jacob – Grandmother of Rose, Dinah, Sophia

This is the only person that I acknowledge as my grandfather. Because at least to me he was what every grandfather should be, a man that helps his grandchildren grow into the people they should be. Someone that gives them love and a sence of self-worth. I’m not saying he was a perfect man, in fact he was far from it. He had many faults, I will not deny that. Abraham was a difficult man, who suffered a lot in his life. He took a lot of that suffering and what he was taught as a child out on his children. He was not an easy father; I think this is especially true with my father. My father was the oldest and as any child that is the oldest can tell you, we carry the brunt of our parents’ mistakes. I like to feel that my grandfather tried to make amends to my father near the end of his life. Unfortunately for them both, my father wasn’t ready and my grandfather didn’t have time because he got lung cancer, for them to reach a place of forgiveness and peace. Unable to reach my father, my grandfather turn his attention to me. For a little girl who had been badly abuse it was a god sent. I got to experience what a grandparent’s love should be. He spent a lot of time with me; he taught me things, like cooking and baking. He gave me my love of John Wayne and he gave me a voice or at least taught me not to be afraid to use mine and speak out. He was proud and loved me and in turn it allow me to feel those feelings for myself. He is the reason I speak out so strongly today. He was the first, and for a long time, the only person that I allowed to get really close to me. But like all good things in my life, it came to an end way too quickly. He died from the lung cancer when I was 13. For him, I have grieved a lot of years. I still see myself sitting on his grave at 18 years of age, crying my eyes out. While I will always miss him and wish for him to be with me, I am now able to think of him and his memory without the gut wrenching pain of loss.

Abraham never knew of my abuse. I had yet to recover any memories of the abuse at the time of his death and for many year after. I sometimes like to think that if he had known, he would have taken a baseball bat to Satan.