My Immediate Family


Daughter of Satan and Babylon – Wife of Adam – Mother of Dinah & Rose – Sister to Abel and Cain
I given this a lot of thought and I have decided that I am going to call her Eve. If my mother ever does read this, I’m still not sure I want her to, I don’t want her to be upset. I didn’t choose the name Eve because she ruined perfect life for all her children, I choose it because she was the mother of all mankind, and if you knew my mother you would say that this was an apt description of her. She takes care of everyone and everything. It is a habit I find annoying, because the one that usually suffer are her family. To start with my mother was also abused by my grandfather/her father. While I was growing up she had many problems because of this, all of which came around and effected me.
First of all, she had multiple personalities. They were Mean Mommie, Nice Mommie, and I’m Not Your Mom, Mommie. From day-to-day it was hard to know which mommie you would be waking up to. Second she didn’t know that she had multiple personalities. So one moment she would beating the crap out of you and the next she would be wondering what you did, all caring and nice. But worst then Mean Mommie was I’m Not Your Mom, Mommie. She would just forget you even existed. I’ve been forgotten for hours at school, I’d turn my back in a store and Mom would be gone.
Third, my mom dealt with her problems by running. So every time her and dad fought, she’d leave. Sometimes it was only for a few hours, sometimes it was days. As I am the oldest, I had to grow up fast. I became responsible for my baby sister. There was no one else. My dad didn’t think my sister was his. (we will cover this when I get to him) For years I’d watch her go out the door wondering if she was ever coming back. Then I got to the point that I no longer cared. I didn’t need a mommie, I was my own mommie.
Fourth, my mom still had dealings with her abusive father, which in turn gave him access to me. This is something that to this day I still don’t understand. Why would you want to keep that relationship up. It was something that I cut as soon as I was able. Ever harder for me was understanding how she could still have anything to do with him after what he did to me. It was like she took his side. And I lost whatever was left of my mother.
Fifth due to my mother’s abuse, she always has to please EVERYONE. I don’t think the word “no” is in her vocabulary. She does anything and everything for her parents at a drop of a hat. She raised my uncle’s children after his divorce so that he could work and not be bothered with them. Even today, now that they are all grown up she still takes care of them. If you ask my mom to do something, she’s going to do whatever you need her to. Like I said she was the world’s mother, she was never just mine.
You know what, I was wrong at the beginning of this, I think that on some unconscious level I choose Eve because I do hold my mother partly to blame for what happen to me and thus the ruin my life is in now. I feel my life could/should have been so much more.


Son of Abraham – Husband of Eve – Father of Dinah & Rose – Brother to Jacob,
I took me a while to choose the right name for him as well, then as I was reread the part on my mother, I realise his name should be ADAM. After all Adam ate the apple for Eve even knowing what the consequences where. My father would and has done anything for my mom. All she had to do was ask. But let me start at the beginning.
My parents were married for 8 years when they had me. They both come from large families so it was a surprise that it took them so long to have kids. But they wanted to wait till they were ready. Now you would think with the first-born the guy would want/wish for a boy, but not my father. It was always a girl so I was his wish come true. I was the apple of his eye. I was everything he wished for.
Due to my mother and her above mentioned behaviors, my father and I became a team. And because of that I learn at an early age that if I wanted something I just had to ask my father. If you haven’t already guessed I grow up in a religious household. With my father’s obvious adoration for me and the bible to back me. I know just how to get what I wanted, and I almost always did.
Ask daddy, when he said yes, go to mom and tell her, when she said no. Use the trusty bible teaching about the man being head of the house and his decisions being law.  Thus letting her know what she wanted/said didn’t really matter. As I think back on it this is the way I got most everything I wanted and I have to say it wasn’t always good for me.
My father comes from an abusive background as well, which lead to A LOT of fighting in our household while I was growing up. My father was jealous and my mother loved to push his buttons by flirting. And this would always make my father mad then would come the yelling, my mother working out and my father sulking, followed by him trying to get her back. For years I wished my parents would just divorce and put each other out of their misery. But what is that old saying about misery loving company. They loved to be miserable together. This made for an uncomfortable family life.
As I said before I was my father’s golden girl, because of this I was in a panic about letting him know that I had been abuse. I thought he would murder my grandfather. While I wanted my abuser dead, I didn’t want my father is jail for his murder, so I never told him. When it all finally came out it was like my father change, or I should say that I changed in my father’s eyes. I felt like I was no longer even his child. That the man who adored my all my life was gone and that someone else had taken his place. Instead of committing murder for me, he was a man who didn’t want to know, didn’t care to know, what to not acknowledge my abuse, and in the process I feel like he choose not to acknowledge me.


Daughter of Adam and Eve – Sister to Rose
Due to my mom’s flirting and my dad’s jealousy my sister was brought into a family where her own father thought she wasn’t his.
You may ask yourself why I choose Dinah? Cause she likes to flirt with trouble and men. Due to the afore-mentioned paternity question my sister has Daddy issues.
Actually my earliest retrievable memory is sitting by my sister’s crib, while my parents had another of their ongoing fights, which ended with my mother leaving and my dad storming into his bedroom. All I can remember is petting her hair and telling her that everything was going to be all right, that I was there. That nothing was going to happen to her and that I would take care of her. That promise has led to a lifetime of me feeling responsible for her. This relationship has led to a lot of pain on both our sides cause I want to protect her and she resents me mothering her and telling what I think she should do. I’m trying to let this need to mother go, she is 29 years old and it is time she make her own mistakes and suffer whatever consequences she has to.
The thing is that my sister likes men, or more importantly for men to like her. She likes the adoration from them, probably because she had no love from our father growing up. The thing is she doesn’t want them to get too close though. I think this is why she chooses men that live so far away. She wants them to adore her, and then she wants them out-of-the-way till next time she needs them. This way it’s not messy. She gets all the good of the relationship and none of the bad.

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