The Antidote – Part 2 – Meditation

This is my second post on the book “The Antidote – Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking”. This time on its chapter on Meditation/Buddhism. I’m not Buddist but some of the stuff it teaches is interesting/useful.

If you are like me, for years you have been hearing people (therapist, parents, friends, doctors, etc.) telling you that meditation is the way to relieve stress and to become calmer, so you try it. And you try it and you end meditationup feeling like you are failing. That somehow you are just not doing it right. For me, with the multiples, meditation isn’t just about quieting one mind or part of it, it’s like a whole neighborhood. You have multiple houses all blasting their radios – heavy metal, polka, something Spanish, a talk show, etc. You have to spend time going around to each of these house and turn off the music. And when you think you’ve got them all off, they switch back on again, and you have to turn them off again. On and on it goes till you either give up or you have all of them blasting at once. Either way, it’s not a relaxing experience.

So you can image my thoughts when I got to this chapter. I was ready to stop reading. Then I learned something I HAVE BEEN MEDITATING WRONG. I thought I had to completely clear my mind to properly meditate. I’m sure you can imagine my surprise when I found out that, that wasn’t true. Meditation is not about emptying your mind, reaching a state of bliss or achieving a trance-like state of calm. It is not a way of seeking happiness, but a way to stop running away from things that we are either not aware of or don’t want to face.

Here’s what you do: You take the time to sit comfortably still, close your eyes and notice your breath as it flows in and out. One breath in, one breath out. Things will come up, sensations, emotions, etc. We need not be distracted by them but instead we need to notice them. We need not judge them but instead watch our thoughts and emotions, our desires and aversions, as they come and go. We need to resist the urge to run, fix or cling to them. Whatever comes up, good or bad all you need to do is stay present and you observe them, acknowledge them, then let them go. Always returning to your breathing.

The chapter goes on about practicing non-attachment, but i’ll leave some of the book for you to read

Today’s Affirmation

Today’s Affirmation – Self-Worth

“I am worth it! I am a worthwhile person. I am worthy of receiving love and respect.”

I am worthy of acceptance. My life is sacred. I dearly hold in my heart all the parts of myself – the infant, the child, the teenager, the young adult, the adult, and my present and future self. Every embarrassment, mistake, hurt, and wound, I accept fully as what has made me the smart, wonderful, deserving person I am. My story includes every success and every failure, every error and every truthful insight, and all of it is valuable, as I am valuable.

I Have The Right…

For so many years I have been told who I was, what I was supposed to feel, what I was supposed to do, who my friends could be, what I could and couldn’t talk about. I was not allowed to have control over my body, my mind, my spirituality, the people I wanted and more importantly the people I didn’t want in my life. I, as an individual, have certain rights; they are something that I need to read and be reminded of every day.

I have these rights:

I have the right to be treated with dignity, compassion and respect at all times.

I have the right to make my own decisions about the course of my life.

I have the right to have dreams- and to work toward making these dreams come true.

I have the right to feel good about myself as a person and a woman.

I have the right to choose who will be my friends, whom I will spend time with and whom I will confide in.

I have the right to make mistakes.

I have the right to change my mind.

I have the right to be happy.

I have the right to ask for what I want.

I have the right to follow my own values and standards.

I have the right to express all of my feelings, both positive and negative.

I have the right to say no and not feel guilty.

I have the right to determine my own priorities.

I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings or problems.

I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.

I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.

I have the right to change and grow.

I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

I have the right to be uniquely myself.

This list is very hard for me to read though and listen to. For someone who never had any of these rights, it is hard to change the mind set I was brought up in. To help me I am printing out this list so that I can carry it with me and read it when I need it.

The above list is from Healing the Trauma of Abuse – a women’s workbook

Meditation and Affirmations

Last week in therapy, we talked about doing things just for me. Meditation and deep breathing where two of the things that were brought up as something to try. The problem is that when I tried to meditate I keep having flashbacks. I want to have a few moments peace and instead I keep flashing back to my trauma. So I’m going to try something else. I have decide to try affirmations as the subject of my meditation. So here goes “Breath in the good affirmation, Breath out the bad influences. Breath in the good, Breath out the bad”.

Affirmation # 1 – Changing Our Life

I change my life when I change my thinking. I change my thinking with love.

I am Light. I am a wonderful, capable being. It is time for me to acknowledge my own reality. I create my own reality with my mind. If I want to change my reality, then I need to change my mind. I do this by choosing to think and speak in new and positive ways. By changing my thinking, I can change my life. By changing my thinking I am really dropping the limitations place on me by others.  As I drop these limitations, I become aware of the infinity possibilities of life that surround me. I begin to accept the true. I am already perfect, whole and complete. And each day gets easier. *

The above is taken from “Meditations to Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay”