A passage from the Chronicles of Narnia has Aslan telling the magician’s nephew that to complete the quest for the silver apple he must GO THROUGH the ice- mountain, that he can’t go around it, over it or under it. The same is true with pain, I can’t skirt it. I have to go through it, confronting the snarling beasts and demons. To do this I have to write, express, feel.
My therapist suggested keeping a journal of sorts to help get through the days. A place were my alters can run free with what they are feeling. For a while I was using my blog for this and it helped. Then, like they do, things happened and my entries got farther and farther apart. I’m not promising that everything I keep in my new journal will go to my blog, because even I don’t want to read everything I write, but some of it will be making the transition. I do know that I will be writing more, which will inevitably lead to me posting more on my blog.
It’s time for a reality check. I need to quiet the mob in my head and ground myself, get my bearings and come face to face with my truths and reality.
One of my favorite actress, Leslie Caron is quoted above on happiness and pain. I will know happiness when it comes along because I’ve already know enough pain to let me know what happiness isn’t.