My therapist has me working on getting in touch with my inner child, it’s all part of this self-love thing I’m suppose to be working on. I don’t know about anyone else but loving yourself is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Anyway my therapist wants me to write a letter to my inner child comforting it, something that I can read to myself every day. I came home from one hour’s worth of therapy so beat I took a 4 hour nap instead (it must be working). Now it’s the middle of the night and I really should be sleeping since I have a doctor’s appointment in the morning but I couldn’t get the idea of this letter out of my head. The problem with it is that I had no idea what to say. Having not received much comfort in the past from anyone, being a “grin and bear it” person when it comes to my emotions/feelings, what do I say to my young self. I’m not embarrassed to say, I did an internet search on letters to my inner child. I found a few that had things I liked in them and I went from there.
Here’s my letter:
Dear Little “A”,
When your parents fought; it was not your fault. When your mother left you either emotionally or physically, to cope for yourself and your sister; it was not your fault. When your father and mother used you as a go between, in their fights with each other; it was not your fault. When your grandfather used you for his own sexual gratification; it was not your fault. When the adults around you failed to notice you, when they expected you to care for yourself, when they expected you to be an adult and make adult decisions, when you were still a child, none of these things where your fault.
I know that you feel small, scared, vulnerable and full of pain, but you no longer have to feel alone. Whenever you are frightened or need to be comforted I am here to hold you in my arms, to rock you, sing to you and comfort you. I am here to whisper in your ear “I love you” and “It will be okay” while you cry. I get you, I understand your pain, because I am you.
You no longer have to run from it, hid from it or bury it away. This is not something that you have to grin and bear. You can now let it out. Scream it out. Tell it to the world but most of all, you can tell it to me. I will not judge you. I know that many times you have been told that you were worthless, unlovable, good-for-nothing, and ugly. That you don’t matter, both in the way people treated and by the words they spoke. I know that this has left you feeling fear, guilt and shame, but these feelings don’t belong to you; they belong to those that have left you feeling this way.
It is time to leave this pain behind, to take my hand and to know that you will no longer have to suffer alone. It is time to feel the love. I love you. God loves you. You are a good person. You are a strong person. You are a beautiful person. Know that nothing you did was wrong, that none of this was your fault. It is time to look inside your heart and soul and see that you are something to be treasured. I know this to be true because I am you, and you are me. From now on we will have each other and that love will make everything better.
With my love,
It actually came out a lot better than I thought it would. Maybe there is hope for me when it comes to this whole self-love thing after all.
Got to get some sleep now.