I was reading through my emails when a link to a blog on Caretaking: Abusers and Yourself caught my eye. It brought out some interesting points that I’ve never quite thought about in this way before. I never thought of myself and by extension, my mother and our whole family, as my grandfather’s caretaker. We were the people that keep his secret so that the world thought he was this nice man, a pillar of the community and a leader in our church. When I finally broke away for this pattern, instead of freeing us and allowing the world to know the truth about what a truly evil man he was, my family continued and still continues even after his death to be the caretaker of his image.
While I have taken the route of speaking-out, writing this blog and doing everything else I can to caretake myself, to heal myself. Those around me are still brainwashed into believing that they must keep the personification of my grandfather that they created and showed to the world alive. It makes me want to shake them or slap some sense into them. After all we are so much more important then our abuser. And the first step of healing is admitting the true.
I Was Abused! My Grandfather Was My Abuser! He Was A Truly Evil Man! He Used Anything With In His Power To Get What He Wanted! He Was A Master Of Manipulation! He Was Not A Nice Man And I No Longer Have To Be A Caretaker To His Image!
I just wish that I could get the rest of my family on the same page as me when it comes to this. It is very tiring being the lone voice yelling the true for all to hear, while everyone else lives in denial.