Writing about my parts, has made them clearer for me. It has also made me see what their jobs are, and I have been able to see more clearly what they have done for me in the past.
With my first abuse came the split between KIT and “A”. Kit was so innocent that she had to break off from “A” because she couldn’t understand/comprehend/deal with what was happening. She just couldn’t face it. As the abuse continued “A” could feel Kit getting closer and closer to the truth of the abuse. In order to save Kit, that small part of “A’s” innocence’s she had to split again to form a protector for that innocence – SONJA. Sonja seeing that Kit was about to be pulled into the abyss that “A” was already in did what she thought was best. Sonja killed Kit. She killed the innocence to save it, to save it from finding the truth.
That death, to put it in fairy tale terms, was like the death the Snow White experienced when she bit the apple or Sleeping Beauty experienced when she touched the spindle. It was a death that got them out of the way till the evil was past and they could be brought back. The Death of Kit was the same thing; it put her away from the abuse, the after years of not knowing about the abuse, the therapy it took to find out about the abuse, facing my abuser, and his death. My innocence, my Kit was kept safe from that in a death-like state. Now Kit is finally starting make reappearance even if it is only in a ghostly manner. It is my hope that soon she can once again be alive.