With this wedding just a few days away I have heard my family, especially my cousins on my mom’s side, the ones that I grew up with like bothers, say that they wish we could go back to being a normal family. First you have to understand what the meaning of a normal family is – it’s the Norman Rockwell picture perfect family. Yes that was our family for a lot of years – that picture perfect, gathers on the holidays, have family dinners and vacations, and glow for the world family. Unfortunately, underneath of that was the true that our family covered over with this shiny lie. There was a child rapist at the table, two families were split by either divorce or constant fighting, and the children lived in fear of what each new day would hold.
So on the outside the picture looks perfect, but it really isn’t. If it had been that perfect picture than I wouldn’t mind going back to it now. But just like all the horrors that where covered over then, they are once again being forgotten today. We are not that picture; we will never be that picture. We never really were that picture, even if you have tricked your mind into believing that we were. It upsets my parents when I say this but I can no longer live a lie.
There is no going back and until my family is ready to face the truth about that family time together, there will be no healing and getting better. So quit wishing for the illusion and face the reality we are not nor have we ever been a Norman Rockwell painting.