Last month I found out that my therapist was going away for 6 months. Last week I meet with her and the person she is referring me to while she is gone. My current therapist is my mother’s age which is helpful to me when I need to substitute her voice for that of my mother’s in my head. The person she is referring me to is young. I think she is even younger than I am. I have been trying to processes this all week and I keep coming back to my same first impression. This person is too young to be helping me direct my life. She spoke very little during last week’s session and I don’t know if that was because she was just getting a feel or she didn’t have anything to say. I also felt like I spend most of the session elaborating on everything I was saying so that she would know where I was coming from. It truly is like starting all over, and right now I’m just not up to starting over.
On another low note the Effexor has gone the way of all the previous medications. The side effects were horrible, the withdrawals were worse and I have to start all over on a new one tomorrow. This time I off the Serotonin reuptake medications and am going on Doxepin, which is a psychotropic agent with tricyclic antidepressant and anxiolytic properties. Sounds like fun.
I also found out my Health insurance is up for renewal and I may not be able to get it due to the fact that I am not working.
Needless to say it has been a crappy week, most of which I have spent in bed or at least my bedroom. Here is hoping next week is better.