Things are my house has been so chaotic that I haven’t been able to think let alone deal with the issues that are surfacing for me. My family is dealing with planning a wedding, have my sister’s boyfriend/fiancée come to visit, my sister moving to Mississippi and all the other normal daily stuff that goes with living. To make this all more confusing, my sister’s guy hasn’t actually asked her yet, the ring wasn’t ready when she visited him, so everything is still up in the air. While he is telling her to dress shop and all the other stuff, it doesn’t mean anything till he ask her and the ring is on her finger. My therapist and my friends keep telling me that I need to get away from all this, so I ran away from home last Monday. I’m now staying at someone else house and no one’s there but me. It’s so quiet and peaceful and I can read and sleep and swim and do whatever I want without dealing with the stress of home. I know that I only have a couple of more days before I have to go home, but I’m enjoying what I have now. I’m working through some big stuff now like anger at what has been taken from me, acceptance and the ability to move beyond it. I writing more on these subjects but I want to finish them before I post it.
Right now all I can say is thanks to all my friends that told me to get away, it’s helping. I guess it is ok to run away just so that I can come back stronger and ready to fight. This is something I’m still having a hard time with. I’m so use to being the one that takes care of things, picks up the pieces and smooth over the arguments that it is hard to let it go. I have to let go though and set some boundaries for myself so that I can take care of me.