Finding God’s Grace

I have spent the last week trying to find peace and looking for direction. I knew that I would never be able to find this at home. Home is a cyclone of chaos, so I’ve spent the last week at a house my mother watches. It is quiet. I can sleep when I want, eat when I want and do what I want without answering to anyone else.

One of the questions that I am looking answer is about God. I believe there is one and that he can help me but I’m having a hard time with separating him from the god that my grandfather evoked when he wanted to abuse me.

It’s funny but I have been sitting out by the pool and singing to myself and the one song that keeps coming to me is Amazing Grace. It isn’t even a song that I know all the words to I just know the first stanza, but it hit something in me. So I searched out a copy of it to listen to. As I was listening to the words I felt a closeness to God that I haven’t felt in a while.

 The words are:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me….
I once was lost but now am found,
was blind, but now, I see.

T’was Grace that taught…
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear…
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares…
we have already come.
T’was Grace that brought us safe thus far…
and Grace will lead us home.

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,    
that saved a wretch like me….
I once was lost but now am found,
was blind, but now, I see.

I loved up Grace in the dictionary and these are some of the definitions I got:

  • The freely given, unmerited favor and love of god.
  • The influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.  
  • Also called state of grace. The condition of being in God’s favor or one of the elect.

I realized that is what I’m looking for and what I need God’s loving grace. Something that will relieve my fears and see my through the danger, toils and snares and keep my safe.

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