GENEVIEVE

 

I am Genevieve, the “others” spiritual leader. I am the light in the darkness. I am the one that believes that there is a God and that he loves and cares about us. I need to feel connected to something that is greater than I am. I believe that God wants us to find happiness, contentment and peace in our lives. I’ve spent hours trying to untangle our faith in God, the Bible and his teaching with the hypocrisy that was used by “A’s” grandfather when he abused her. This abuse has cause me to battle many demons, in my search for faith. Yet despite the ritual, spiritual abuse, my beliefs are strong and they go to the very core of who I am. I know that many of the “others” view me as crazy for even trying to have anything to do with God, religion, etc. because of what happen to us. But I can not allow this to matter to me. I feel that I must stick to my ideals, stand up up for my beliefs and fully believe in myself no matter what.

At first I didn’t have nor did I want a name. It felt very unimportant to me, but the “others” convinced me that having a name made me more real to them. Since I want my message-spirituality to be important to them I finally agreed to having a name. I choose Genevieve from the movie musical Camelot with Vanessa Redgrave. First let me say that I am not Catholic, that no part of me is Catholic. “A” felt the divine closeness to God when Vanessa Redgrave sang the beginning of the song “the Simple Joys of Maidenhood:

Saint Genevieve, Saint Genevieve
It’s Guinevere, remember me?
Saint Genevieve, Saint Genevieve
I’m over here beneath this tree!
You know how faithful and devout I am
You must admit I’ve been a lamb.”

“A” was moved by this. This is how she wanted to feel about God all the time except the “others” won’t agree with it. So I was born so that she could feel this way about God – that she could talk to him anyway, anytime, about anything, and he’d hear. Except her/my prayer goes a little something like this:

Oh God, are you there?
It’s Genevieve, remember me?
Oh God, Oh God,
I’m over here hiding where no one can see!
You know how faithful and devout I am
You must admit I’ve been a lamb.
Can you see me?
Here I am, waiting to be rescued.”

So came about my birth and this is how I came to choose the name Genevieve.

I have been persecuted for my beliefs, yet I keep persevering, in the hope that the “others” will one day imbrace God’s love. Well I believe in God and all that goes with it, I can’t condone Peter and his ways of worship. I believe God is loving and merciful, and he doesn’t want us to inflict pain on ourselves just to show that we love him.

I care not for material things so I have no real particular form of dress or a need to look a certain way. It just needs to be modest. I’m mostly able to come out when Edith, Rose or Beth is up. I’m very seldom up by myself, for what would be the point. I need others to be able to help them see and accept/grow spiritually.

 

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