Really Sick…..No One Cares

15 Apr

Since my last post I ended up having to go to the doctor for a very bad bacterial/fungal infection in my ear and throat. I’m still trying to recover from this and it has been over a week. But it was during this time that a lot of things really started to weigh me down.  Here I am sick, can barely move, all I want is for someone to take care of me, but that is not what I got. I asked for juice and popsicles as that was about that only thing I could swallow, my mom when to the store to get vinegar for my grandmother’s messy laundry but didn’t get them for me. After three days of that I finally dragged myself out of bed and when to the store myself, even though I was running a fever and could hardly move. I also asked my mom to drop a prescription off for me since she was going in that direction, and I told her that I would get it the next day since I was going to be down there and I had enough to last till then (my prescriptions are filled by the county which is in the next town.) Instead of just dropping the prescription and going she waited for it. Because this is a county facility it takes a while to fill them because they have so many people using them. When she came home she was all happy and proud like she’s done this wonderful thing by waiting. She even said that it made her feel like she was doing something for me. All I could think was if you really wanted to do something for me you could have gotten the juice and popsicles I asked for when you went to the store, not sat around for a prescription that I didn’t need today and could have just as easily picked up myself tomorrow.  And of course later I had to hear about how she didn’t get anything done that needed to be done.

Also the whole week that I was sick, my mom was running none stop, so there were no dinners being made, no one buying my father his milk, etc. and he is b!@#$ing to me about it, like I’m suppose to do something about it. I don’t even want food, I’m so sick, but I’m supposed to be cooking him his dinner?!?!

It is at this point that I realize I am less than a servant to them, I’m a slave.  I want parents that notice that I’m sick and care enough to want to help me get better, not expect me to go on as if nothing is wrong.  I want to feel like I am worth something. Right now I don’t.

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4 Responses to “Really Sick…..No One Cares”

  1. Abfabhiipy 01/22/2013 at 3:03 pm #

    Do you have spinal stenosis, scoliosis, bulging disc, herniated disc? Do you have a tumor on your spinal cord? I am sick like you are everyday…no breaks. Are you like that everyday? I just want you to see how good you have it…you could be me. I have an MRI order sitting here that I can’t even get because I give the damn doctor all my money. I have more…I have seizures and Narcolepsy…do you? Come on lets compare just who has it worse.

    • Abfabhiipy 01/22/2013 at 3:09 pm #

      Sorry didn’t realize I was on a page for child abuse…but think about what I said. Try to stop dwelling in the past and make a new life for yourself and get the people out of your life that make you miserable…I did. They are all out of my life.

      • Phoenix 01/22/2013 at 7:20 pm #

        While it is so easy for someone to tell someone else to say to “stop dwelling on the past and to make a new life”, until your life is literally high-jacked by the past without your permission, you don’t know what you are talking about. While I try not to continually live in the past, until I can remember all of it and process it as an adult, moving forward is not an option. One thing I do try to do is not judge what others are going through if I never have been through what they have. Maybe that is something you should think about.

    • Phoenix 01/22/2013 at 7:09 pm #

      If you had read anymore of my blog you would know that being sick with a cold is a small thing with me. I have Epilepsy, several mental health diagnoses including major depression, and fibromyalgia which is a chronic nerve condition which leaves me in debilitating pain most of the time. Being sick with a cold, can make all these symptoms worse. Added to that I can not get medical help for this condition because my insurance won’t cover the medications or the other treatments I need. I’m not working at this time and I can understand what it is like to have no money to pay for my medical help. I never started this blog as a way to as you say “compare just who has it worse.” I started it so that other how have gone through or are going through what I am know that they are not alone. It is also something that I’m doing for my own mental health, just because I write this doesn’t mean you or anyone else are forced to read it.

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